Parents are willing to make their child’s life as great as possible. However, even when everything seems to be perfect, there are periods when a kid’s temper tantrums become out of control. Usually, the first child temper tantrum begins somewhere around 18 months, but their peak is around the age of 3. They become regular and can appear a few times a day.
When I say “a few,” it also means up to 20 with or without a valid reason. The good thing is that this period is temporary. Day by day, the child gets to know its feelings so that it can express them without causing a scene.
Prevention and Positivity–the best way to avoid tantrums
All rudimentary needs must be satisfied (sleep, nutrition, activities) and it is the best way to calm down kids. It is important because anything can trigger a child. Also, try avoiding some radical methods of upbringing during this irregular period.
For instance, some mothers wake up their children in the middle of the night to ask if they want to go to the bathroom. It is bad enough that it prevents children from learning how to “keep water at bay,” but what is worse, it leads to tantrums during the day because the sleep pattern was disrupted.
A trick to distracting a kid is with an interesting talk or a game that often works, except for cases when a child is already mad and nervous.
Here are some calm down strategies for kids:
Rest. A good night's sleep is extremely important for a child. Therefore, parents have to follow the routine and make sure that they don’t get too tired.
Talk about feelings. As “newcomers,” kids have yet to learn and understand their feelings. Therefore, talk about them, help kids accept and realize them. In time, the child will learn how to control his feelings and emotions.
Give a choice. By giving your child a choice, you let them feel significant. These can be simple things such as the color of socks, places to go for a walk to, etc.
In case a child “exploded,” you have to:
- Understand that negotiations are pointless.
- Know that talking sense into a kid is very difficult.
- Remember that it is useless to try to pressure it with your authority.
Especially pay attention to the last point. In this case, it can work a couple of times. However, the situation will keep worsening. The thing is that a child will get used to your yelling and aggression, which is, no doubt, nerve-racking for both parties. As a result, it will be much more difficult for you to rebuild your good relationship with a kid. Children copy their parents – keep that in mind.
When a tantrum begins to subside – hug the child and tell it how much you love them. When kids get mad, they usually say things they do not mean and, as a matter of fact, do not quite understand like, “I hate you!” or “I don’t need you!” etc. Ignore them because these words are used to draw you deeper into the argument.
The important rule is not to fall for a child’s manipulations and stand your ground. From early childhood, a kid has to understand that there are certain limits of what is acceptable and unacceptable. When a kid sees that child temper tantrums do not work, they will stop doing this.
Ways to calm down a kid:
- “Blow on your forehead/ nose/ cheek”: When feeling like blowing up, the right thing to do would be to exhale. However, it is difficult to explain the concept of “Breathe in. Breathe out” to an outraged child. Therefore, ask them to blow on your face, nose, or cheek (whatever feels best). First, it will take a child by surprise, which is a great chance to seize the initiative. Second, a baby will breathe out involuntarily. Do this, and after some time maybe, you will get lucky enough to establish eye contact.
- Kissing-hugging flood: If you feel like hitting and slapping a child rather than hugging and kissing – hold it! A kid needs hugs and kisses the most when a little one has a tantrum. In such moments, give your child lots of love and tenderness. It is a well-known trick, which can help you a lot. Sometimes, you might not even notice this, but a child can be lacking your attention, hugs, and contact with you in general.
- Play along: It is simple – listen to what your child has to say and play along. Sometimes, kids are mad and dissatisfied because no one listens to them. Therefore, let your child make some decisions (concerning games, where to go, etc.) Remember, it does not mean that you are giving up and doing what a child demands. Allow a kid to make some decisions (about leisure time you will spend together), do not show your superiority, be on one level with the kid, and play as if you are even. After satisfying its need to give out orders, a child will listen to you eagerly.
- Distract: “Oh no, you’ve lost your teardrop! Where is it? Let’s look for it!” or “Look, there’s a kitten over there! Let’s take a look.” etc. There are many things you can say to distract a child. Also, if you have an object that a child has never seen or something interesting that is around you – use it to distract the child.
- Look for a way out of the situation: “You are crying because you want a toy, but we can’t buy it. If you continue crying here, we won’t make it to the bus stop on time. How will we get home? Let’s think.” Say it calmly, while kneeling near a child.
- Remind of an important matter: “You can cry later because now we don’t have time for this. You wanted to play outside, but the sun is going down, so we need to go now.”
- Offer a choice: For instance, “Either you calm down, and we go home to watch cartoons, or you continue crying, and I’ll take you out of here, which is very unpleasing.”
- Cheer up: If a child is old enough to understand your jokes, then you can say something like, “Oh, your “naughty” mode is on, let’s look for a switch to turn it off!” You can start looking for it and tickle the little one.
Did you like our article? If so, Check out our other related articles.
- Check out more ways to avoid kids temper tantrum: How to Discipline Your Children Instead of Just Punishing Them
- Discover ways How to Get Your Kids to Listen When They Wouldn’t Hear No
- Checkout out the Parenting guide: What Parents Should Not Do to Their Children