Hearing “no” from a child multiple times a day is just one of the stages of its development. Getting your child to listen can be trouble sometimes and how to get kids to listen becomes a common question parents ask. Psychologists distinguish this as a period of systematic or constant denial.
Why is this happening? In fact, in most cases, children do not mean “no” when they say it. Frequently, they do this just to see whether their opinion counts or not.
- Protests. Analyze a child’s behavior and what could have caused such a reaction. All you need to do is to guess what is on the child’s mind. For example, the answer “no” to your offer to go home might not be caused by his or her wish to play more, but by the fact that prior to the outing, you didn’t let the child get dressed by itself. This might not be a big deal to you, but it is for children. As a result, by saying “no,” the kid protests.
Always think, analyze, and observe. It will help you guess your child’s wishes and maybe even predict some decisions. In this case, you have better chances of avoiding a confrontation or tantrum.
- If a child’s answer is not pivotal for you at the moment, don’t pressure a little one. A child does not have to execute all tasks you give it immediately.
- If a kid refuses to kiss you, it does not mean that it doesn’t love you anymore, and your world is falling apart. Do not pressure a child, maybe the game or a cartoon is more important at the moment. Pressurizing a child won't solve the issue & get your kid to listen to you.
- When a kid refuses to go to bed – hear the little one out. Give a child from 5 to 15 minutes to air its protest and take the child to bed. Bedtime is an important part of a timetable, so make sure that the final decision is yours because one way or another, a good night’s sleep is of vital importance. After seeing that the protest is received, the child will agree to your request to go to bed.
- When a protest is followed by kicking and biting, it is then when you need to give them a “timeout” (5 minutes to calm down somewhere on the couch or chair.) Note that such behavior displays resentment because the child’s opinion was not heard. Regardless, it does not mean that parents should ignore such behavior.
- In a reserved and strict manner, explain that such behavior is unacceptable and send them into “timeout.” When the timeout has expired, you can try talking to your child again, explaining the reason why its wish cannot be granted. Note that you can have these conversations with children aged two or more.
- What comes around goes around. Meaning that if you respond to a child’s kicking and biting by slapping it, a kid will get the idea that violence is the best way of solving problems. Besides, it does not mean that the child will stop kicking you.
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Your restraint, patience, and ability to find and understand the real reasons for a child’s anger can help eliminate these manifestations of aggression & get him listen to you..
For you to understand the main principle of actions and reactions, please take a look at the following situations: 1) a child does not want to get dressed, and 2) a child does not want to clean up its toys.
A child does not want to get dressed
For instance, some children absolutely hate putting up a dress. As a result, they turn this process into a real problem. They run away, yell, and want to have nothing to do with clothes.
Why do kids hate this so much?
First of all, at such a young age (up to 3 years old), a child is still getting used to its body and to how it reacts to the world around it. Sometimes a kid just wants to run around naked, to feel the wind against their skin.
Although, it is seldom that parents let children run around commando, however, an occasional naked romp around the house can be fun for them. Therefore, in between changing clothes, the child gets an opportunity to sneak out and run around with no clothes on.
Second of all, a child wants his opinion to be taken into account. A kid wants to put on a dress and undressed whenever they feel like it. More often than not, the opinions of parents and children differ in this matter.
How should you respond?
If you are at home, give a child 5-10 minutes to run away from you. After this, a kid will consider its mission accomplished, and you will be able to get through to them.
Lure them with interesting and beautiful clothes. For instance, if it is a boy, tell how beautiful the car on a shirt is and how cool he will look in it.
If you need to dress a child fast, then the only way you can do that is by distracting them with an interesting object.
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Most parents know what their child likes and can give them something to entertain and distract them. At the same time, continue dressing a child in an affectionate but firm manner, ignoring its resistance. A child will eventually understand that all it can do is to comply.
A child does not want to clean up his toys
What is the reason for this behavior? Before expecting that a child will clean up the toys by itself, remember that you have to teach them how to do this. In most cases, a child refuses to organize, not because it does not want to, but because it does not know-how.
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What should you do to get your kids to listen to you?
- When it is time to put the toys back in their places, draw their attention by clapping your hands and then – asking it to clean up the mess. You should help kids because they are still small and they need to learn.
- Daily rituals are very important in a child’s everyday life. Therefore, the things you do every day as a part of your routine, become habits. With time, you see that they do things automatically without any reminders and reproaches.
- Toys have their place, and therefore it is important to put them back after playing with them. It would be best if you made the child adopt a concept that each thing has its place. Besides, the best way of doing this is by being a role model for your baby.
You can show a child how important it is to return things to the places they belong after using them. Children mimic their parents almost in everything.
More Ideas to get your kids to listen to you
- It is very useful to sort toys so that children understand where to put toys instead of creating a big colorful mess. For example, you could have a separate box for Lego, dolls or stuffed animals, etc.
- The place for toys must be accessible. To clean up toys, the place where they belong must be within a child’s reach.
- Also, teach a child that after playing one game, they should clean it up, and after this, move on to the next game. It is really helpful. This method will save you lots of nerve cells, time, and will help a child organize its play zone much easier.
Your positivity is crucial. You will need to stay positive and calm in order to cheer a little one up whenever it experiences failures and this will take you to the answer of how to manage a defiant child. Forget about “I’ll do it faster myself.”
Teaching a child is really time-consuming but very important. The efforts you put toward its education will pay off in the future. Always remind a child of how important, helpful, and correct it is to clean up the mess. It is the right thing to do!